January Progress Report

I took on several goals for the year back at the start of this month, and I wanted to track some of my progress towards them since today is the last day of the month.

1.  Complete the 30 Day Plank Challenge in January.

I did this.  I was able to do the full plank without stopping for every day except for two or three near the end, where I broke it up and still completed the full time (over, actually) but with one or two breaks.  But then this irritated me so much that I forced myself to stick it out without stopping.  I ended up finishing this yesterday with a full, five minute plank without a break.  I still am not sure how I did it, as each one over 3:45 seemed like a miracle, but I did it, and I’m pretty proud of it.

With the planking challenge over, I’m looking for something else to do in its place.  I’m looking at a 30 Day Squat Challenge.  I like the idea of doing something small but building every day.  This would take me to the end of February.

2.  Keep up my 2014 Run Streak for at least 30 consecutive days.

I have done this as well.  I’ve run every single day, one mile at least, since January 2.  That translates to 53.5 miles I’ve run this month.  A lot of these runs had to be completed on my treadmill because of either a:  crazy snow or b:  crazy cold.  I have definitely done some of them outside though and have learned a lot about layering and winter running this year.  I’ve decided to try and keep this going at least till the end of February, so 60 days straight of running.  I’ve never gone that long running consecutively, so we’ll see how it goes.

3.  Run at least one race a month.

I did not get a race in this month.  I had my eyes on a race last weekend but it was seriously cold and windy and my husband was away so there was no one to watch the kids.  I have one in my sights for February, a run I did last year and really enjoyed.  I still think I can meet this goal by doubling up (I already have two races in mind for March, for example) as the weather grows warmer.

4.  Run at least 2 10Ks this year.

Still looking to do one of these sooner rather than later, but haven’t really started training for one.  This weekend the weather is supposed to moderate so I’d like to get a good six mile run in and start working towards more distance.

5.  Run a half marathon.

Again, still haven’t figured this one out yet.  In talking with my running mentor, he suggested the one I was initially looking at might not be a great fit:  it’s super hilly.  It’s also in April and I don’t think I will be ready by then.  I’m thinking I’ll do one at the end of June, even though it will mean running in the heat.  I know the area and ran the companion 5K last year so I think it is doable.

6.  Finally reach my goal weight.

This is the one goal that I’m actually upside down on at this point.  I’m up 1.4 lbs since January 1.  I’m going to be entering another weight loss challenge at bootcamp next month so I’m looking forward to really getting serious about it.

I think I’ll try to do this type of post every month.  It’ll keep me honest.  🙂

Wednesday Weigh In

Down, just a little.  0.2 lbs less than last week.

Still haven’t gotten my head back in the game.  I wrote last week about really focusing and concentrating on goals and what I would be willing to forgo to reach them and then later that same day I drank wine and ate too much chocolate.

I wasn’t careful this week.  I still drank wine every night.  I ate sweets four out of the seven days.  Honestly, the scale could have easily gone the other way (and you better believe I feel like a dodged a bullet that it didn’t).

The exercise.  It is the only reason why.  I am (despite Mother Nature’s best efforts) still getting in at least a mile every day.  I’m going to bootcamp.  I am planking every day (yesterday I made it to 4:10….I’m not sure exactly how but I am psyched to try again today and try to add a few seconds to it).  And I feel good about all of those things.  My new treadmill arrived yesterday (which deserves a whole other post, and I’ll write it in the coming days as I learn how to use it) so a huge weight is off my shoulders about continuing my miles with this terrible weather we’ve been having.

But.  But I know the only thing that makes the scale go down is good choices at fridge.  I can burn 500 calories by kicking ass at bootcamp only to undo all of it in a fifteen minute binge.  I know, I know, I know all of these things.  I have to learn how to silence that little voice that tells me to just go ahead, it’s no big deal, just one is fine, maybe just another one, maybe another glass.  I’ve done it before and I know I can do it.  The same determination that is pushing me to get that mile in every day, even when it is ten degrees out; the same determination that pushes me every day to do that $#@# plank when most of my friends that started the challenge have quit.  That’s the same determination I need to call upon with my food choices this week.

Come on, Amy….you can do this.  Why do you keep putting obstacles in your own way?

Current Week: -0..2 lbs
Total Weight Left To Lose:  14.2 lbs
Age:  43
BMI:  28.2

Um, No (Well, Maybe…)

I’m really struggling this morning with conflicting emotions.  I had on my target list for today a 5 Mile race.  But I told myself all along that I’d watch the weather before signing up.  With all of the cold weather and snow lately, I didn’t want to sign up for something and end up having it be cancelled, postponed, or something I just couldn’t do.

I’ve been watching the weather all week and as it has worn on, I’ve seen very clearly that today was supposed to be very cold.  As in 10 degrees.  With 20-30mph wind gusts.  And I officially have decided against racing today.  I had pretty much decided against it last night when I saw the coating of snow fall all over the roads; not enough to shovel but enough to cover everything.  Not that that is the deal breaker; if anything, that snow would probably help my traction over bare roads when it is this cold.  But the final straw was when I could hear the winds howling at 2am.  Cold, cold winds.  No.  Just, no.

But I’ve been trying to run outside as much as I possibly can these last few weeks.  But it is truly unusually cold here for this area.  It is rare that it gets so cold here. Usually winter is in the 20s, not the teens or single digits.  I ran four miles outside this week when it was 15 degrees and by the end I was really feeling strangely.  My legs never warmed up despite having two layers on them.  I was fine with my long sleeved tech T and my warmest fleece on top, and my headband.  Normally during a winter run I end up taking off my headband and gloves, but not that day.  It was too cold.  So even though I was sweating, my face was cold; the wetness on my face combined with the cold gave me the oddest sensation of being cold and warm all at the same time.

I never felt that way all last winter.  I ran in 20 degree weather all of the time, and told everyone that winter was my favorite running season because I sweat so much.  That you can run outside basically all of the time except for maybe a handful of times based on road conditions (not weather conditions).  I ran a January and a February race without ever feeling too cold.

But this year?  Right now the wind chill here is 5 degrees.  I just can’t do it.  I can’t bring myself to get out there and run my super slow five miles, which I know will take me an hour at least.  So I’m not going to race today.  And I am not happy about it.  I feel a bit like I’m letting myself down.   But I know, as conflicted as I am about it, that it is the right decision, today, for me.

***Of course as soon as I blogged this I felt like a total wimp and challenged myself to do today’s #2014RunStreak mile outside with my dog.  I bundled up and went out and it honestly was OK.  I learned a bit from my 4 mile run earlier this week so I used warmer layers on my legs and a scarf to protect my face.  I managed 1.25 miles and would have honestly been able to go much further but my poor dog’s paws were clearly bothering him so I returned home.  I found that I could tolerate the cold for the most part but the slippery half melted coating of the snow was the real problem.  I truly would worry about that on the race course.  There was no bare ground and parts of my route today were slippery.  So while I am still sure I made the right decision on the race, I do feel that I’ve learned a bit better about being able to run in the sub twenty degree range.***

Binge

I want to write about this because I feel so defeated this morning.

Last night I had a full on binge of chocolate and wine.  Why do I do this to myself?  All I want to do this morning is just crawl back under the covers and stay there.  I don’t want to run.  I don’t want to plank.  I don’t want to go back to bootcamp.  I just want to eat crap and not care about it any more.

It is cold here in CT, very cold.  My husband is away.  My daughter is a teenage girl.  My son is on the spectrum.  I made dinner last night and all three of us sat together, quietly hashing through our day.  It was quiet and boring; the kids had a major delayed entry because of the snowstorm we’d had the night before.

After dinner, my daughter went back to her lair room.  My son asked for the last of his birthday cake.  There was a little too much to serve just to him, but such a small sliver it seemed silly to save it.  Right?  I ate two bites of the birthday cake.

It was like releasing the effing beast.  I poured a second glass of wine (I had had one with dinner) and cleaned up dinner while my son finished.  I couldn’t get the taste of the frosting out of my head.  It was insanely good.  It was like crack.  I needed more.

I rummaged through the cupboard to find any sort of viable replacement for the chocolate frosting.  Dark chocolate?  No, not sweet enough.  Cookies?  No, not intense enough (why on earth do I have all this crap in the house?!).  AHA!  Reese’s peanut butter cups.  Perfect.  I grabbed two and popped a whole one in my mouth while taking the other, and my glass of wine, to the den to watch TV.

I ate the second more slowly while drinking my wine.  Both were so good that I decided more was in order.  Sure, a nagging voice in my head whispered that it might not be a great idea, but I wrestled that sucker right down to the ground.  Before it had a chance to get back up I’d eaten another cup and had a third glass of wine in my hand to take back to the TV room.

My son wished me goodnight, my daughter quietly went to bed and I sat there on the sofa feeling stupid.  Awful.  Full and heavy.  And frankly?  Not caring.  Those damn peanut butter cups are freaking awesome.

Roni from Roni’s Weigh asked yesterday in her post, “Are you wiling to give up  _________ to get to your goal of ________?”  And in that moment, and even right now, the answer is clear to me.  The reason I am not moving forward towards my goal is because I’m not.  I want it all.  I want the wine, the candy, the crap and the goal.

And this morning, I know that that’s not possible.  Which is why I feel so defeated.

Wednesday Weigh In: Wrong Direction

Ugh!  I’m up 1.2 lbs this week and I’m not entirely sure why.

I mean, I haven’t been perfect.  I know that.  But have I been so bad as to merit that kind of gain?  I don’t think so, I truly don’t.  I’m higher than I’ve been since October, which pisses me off.   We did have my son’s birthday this weekend, but I ate seriously the smallest slivers of cake.   We had celebration dinners but I stuck with mostly protein and veggies.  I’ve had better runs, longer planks, harder bootcamp classes.  What gives?

Who knows.  But I do know that some of my habits need a bit of reality check:

1.  Bread.  My husband likes bread with dinner and it was one of the first things to go when I lost weight before.  But lately, I’ve been letting myself have a slice (sometimes two) with dinner.  It’s not a huge thing, but probably 75-150 calories each day I do it.  Four times in a week that could be hundreds of calories.

2.  Alcohol.  I’ve said it too many times to count, but I really should rein in my wine consumption.  If I look at my food logs, on the days that I’m over it usually is partially, if not fully, due to glasses of wine.  And not only the calories, but I worry about what else it is doing to my body.  I’m not saying I’m ready to teetotal or anything, but I really need to look at the habit seriously and make some changes.

I think just working on those two things this week and keeping the rest of my good habits in order is where I am at.  I’m still planking every day and still running every day (hoping today isn’t my waterloo….there’s a lot of snow outside and my treadmill is on its last legs….we got a new one but it doesn’t get delivered for a week).  I’m still making more good food choices than bad.  So I’ll chalk this week’s gain up to Whatever and move on from it.

Sigh.

Current Week: + 1.2 lbs
Total Weight Left To Lose:  14.4 lbs
Age:  43
BMI:  28.2

Planking

I got involved with this Planking challenge with a bunch of girlfriends this month….it’s on my list of goals.  I have planked before doing exercise videos and definitely in my bootcamp class before, so I know the drill.  They aren’t easy, but I’ve done them.  It’s not like they are say, burpees, push ups, worm walks or these crazy things our instructor calls “handstands” but are really you burpeeing with your legs apart…or any of the other insane crazy new exercises I’ve been doing since I joined bootcamp.

Yeah.  So.

The challenge started slow, with a 20 second plank.  No problem.  And yes, I did see that it was going to end up after 31 days somewhere around a 5 minute plank, which I figured me doing was the same as lightning striking the same place twice or me winning the lottery or something, but I figured I’d go as far as I could with it and just plod on.

We’re past the halfway point now, on day 20 of 31 days, so as you can imagine, we’re getting closer to the 5 minute mark than the 20 second mark.  Actually, that’s not true.  Today’s plank was supposed to be exactly 150 seconds, or two and a half minutes.

What I have been trying to do, though, with this challenge, is go a little higher than each day’s time.  Because the schedule has you basically spend three days on one time and then jumps to the next (and we’re now jumping by 30 second increments), I try to more gradually work to the next level by going a little higher on each day’s time.

Planking has suddenly become serious business for me.  I never, ever, imagined I could do a plank for more than say, 90 seconds.  But I did.  And then I slowly started being able to meet each day’s allotted time.  I’m not entirely sure how, but I am.  Maybe it is the gradual thing?  Maybe I am stronger because of bootcamp (well, I know that’s definitely part of it).  Maybe it’s because I’ve learned how to really pay attention to my body, the form, and most importantly, the breathing during these exercises.

So today, this is what I did:

I never could have imagined before starting this challenge that I could hold a plank for three minutes.  It is insane.  It’s hard!  I sweat even if I start out cold.  I can feel muscles in my arms, abs and back burning by the end.  I’m huffing like someone who is hyperventilating by the time I’m done.  But I’m doing it.  I can’t even believe it.

I’m really glad I’m doing the challenge.  I’m still not sure I’ll be able to make it to 5 minutes, but now?  Now it seems maybe possible, where before I thought it was absolutely impossible.  So that’s something.

It’s actually something kind of awesome.

Wednesday Weigh In: Status Quo

The scale reads exactly the same as it did at this time last week.  And frankly?  I’m OK with that.

Not going to lie, this was a challenging week.  We’ve had rain, we’ve had snow, we have had 50 degree temps and we’ve had temps below zero.  My treadmill, twenty years old and literally falling apart, is on its last legs from all of the use it has been getting this week.  I’ve kept up my #2014RunStreak only because I have the damn thing and and am carefully navigating my runs on the slowly shredding belt.

My husband has been working late which always means less cooking for me.  It’s terrible, but it is true.  It’s easier to whip up a quick quesadilla or all beef hot dogs because a:  they love them and b:  it’s fast.  I don’t normally eat those things with them, so I”ll rummage through the leftovers available.  Sometimes that’s good, but sometimes it means I eat less consciously because I’m eating whatever “is around” rather than purposefully putting a protein and a vegetable on a plate.

The weather also puts my head in a weird place where I want to eat more.  Like feeling full will help me feel better about the cold, the dark and the drizzle.

I’m not trying to make excuses here, I know what I am doing.  I’m just being honest about it.  I recognized this week when I was reaching for chocolate at 8:30pm and finally, consciously, put a stop to it.  I noted the opening of the wine bottle and pouring more than I should out of it while watching TV, and finally, slowed that train down.  I felt the urge to stop my running and my planking and pushed back on it.

So this week, knowing where my thoughts have been, how hard I have had to push back against them?  I’ll take a status quo.  It is far better than what could have been.

Current Week: no change
Total Weight Left To Lose:  13.2 lbs
Age:  43
BMI:  28

Thoughts On Motivation

Had one of those mornings this morning….I woke up tired after a night filled with restless sleep.  I was sore from yesterday’s back to back kickboxing/pilates classes.  My cold that I had over Christmas is still making me cough from time to time.  And to add to all of that, I donated blood yesterday, which usually also leaves me a bit tired.

I didn’t want to run today.

I got up at 6:30, let my dog out, and made a cup of coffee, pondering whether or not I’d get up off the couch.   We go to Mass every Sunday so there was a limited window of time for me to find my totally, completely lost motivation.

I knew I didn’t want to blow my run streak.  But I am so tired, I told myself.  Maybe I could run after church?  No, I know myself.  Once I’m showered and clean, I don’t like to go running (I sweat so much it would mean a second shower….seems wasteful).  I had originally thought of doing five miles today, and the thought of it made me feel even MORE tired.

I finally made a bargain with myself.  I would run just the one mile, I told myself.  Then I’d walk for however long I wanted to.  I could handle that, even on the day after donating blood.  No problem.

That got me out the door.

But once I was out, I was enjoying my run.  The weather was perfect:  40 degrees, sunny, slight breeze.  The crazy weather we’d had yesterday meant most of the snow had melted, leaving me plenty of room on the side of the road to navigate both me and my dog against oncoming traffic.  I was definitely still tired and not going as fast as usual….but it felt great to be outside after running most of my recent runs on a treadmill in my basement.

I made it two miles and then allowed myself to walk.  But a funny thing happened as I walked.  I didn’t want to walk!  So I allowed myself to run/walk for another thirty minutes.  I ended up going another 1.85 miles, and probably could have gone at least another mile if I wasn’t worried about time and getting cleaned up for church.

After I got home, I stretched and then completed today’s plank for that challenge, a full 90 seconds.  I am pretty sure I’ve never planked that long before without taking a break.  I was proud!

Today was a great reminder of a lesson I’ve learned before but tried to forget today:  you’ll never, ever regret going out for a run.  Once you’re out there, chances are you’ll be glad to you did.  Maybe you have to bargain with yourself a little to get yourself started, but then you can keep that bargaining up once you’re out to go further and faster.

Moral of the story?  Just get out there and run.  Even if you’re tired.  Even if you’re slow.  Even if it’s hot/cold/windy/rainy.  Even one short run is better than nothing.

**Today is Day 12 of my 30 Day Planking Challenge and Day 11 of my 2014 Run Streak.  Both are still in effect!

First Wednesday Weigh In of 2014

…and up.

Not a lot.  Nothing like last year.  And considering that while I wrote down my goals for this year, I certainly haven’t behaved like I’m moving towards them.

Well, that’s not true.  I am planking and running and truly enjoying it.  I started back to bootcamp and have the soreness to prove it.  Exercise and I are getting along just fine so far in 2014.

It’s the food choices.  I needed this smack in the forehead at the scale this morning.  I’m still behaving like I’m on vacation.  Drinks every night?  Sure…I deserve it!  A leftover christmas cookie or fudge?  Well, one piece won’t be a big deal.  Wait, didn’t you already have one today?  OK two won’t be a big deal.  Crackers in my soup?  Yeah, two handfuls is better than one.

You see where I’m headed right?  Gotta stop this train before it goes off the rails.  As I know, as I’ve been told, as we all know, you cannot exercise your way out of bad food choices.  I know when I eat less white food, less processed food, less sweets, I lose.  Simple as that.

Head….it’s time to put yourself back in the game.

Current Week: +0.4 lbs
Total Weight Left To Lose:  13.2 lbs
Age:  43
BMI:  28

2014 Fitness Goals

I thought it might be time to actually commit and put my fitness goals out into the universe.  I keep reading about other people’s 2014 goals and it is inspiring to me!  Nothing motivates me more than watching others work hard and meet their goals so it’s time for me to put up or shut up, so to speak.

1.  Complete the 30 Day Plank Challenge in January.

Six days in and this is on track.  🙂

2.  Keep up my 2014 Run Streak for at least 30 consecutive days.

I missed January 1, but ran two miles to make up for it on Jan 2.  Since then I have logged at least a mile a day (mostly on the treadmill because the weather here has been insane between snow, extreme cold and today, 50 degrees and heavy rain….what a strange winter!).  Yesterday I was ready to skip it because I’d driven four white knuckled hours in freezing rain coming back from visiting my grandmother and I was completely whipped.  But I did it, and I’m glad I did.

3.  Run at least one race a month.

This gets tricky in bad weather months like January and February.  So far I have on my radar a five mile race for the end of this month (am waiting to sign up until the weather forecast comes in as I hated missing the last race I signed up for due to bad weather!) and a four mile race next month (did this one last year and it is a bear!).   This is a goal that I have had since I started running two plus years ago and I have easily achieved it both years so far.

4.  Run at least 2 10Ks this year.

I loved the Joe Kleinerman 10K last year but with my grandmother’s 95th birthday falling on the same weekend this year, I skipped it.  I still plan on the Mother’s Day 10K I did last year and another one….not sure which one.

5.  Run a half marathon.

This is this year’s biggest fitness goal.  It is the next logical goal for me.  It wraps in the “run ten miles in one stretch” goal as well.  I had originally had my eye on the NYC half in March, but March is just going to be a bad month for me with a lot of family things going on so I think I have to push it out some.  I am not sure I’d be ready for the Stratton Faxon Half on April 6 with how crazy I know March will be.  If I don’t do the Danbury one, I might opt for the Fairfield one in June.  Not wild about doing my first half when it could be really hot but I’ve heard good things about the race and the course, so it might end up being that.  We’ll see.

6.  Finally reach my goal weight.

I’ve been chasing the same number on the scale since I started this blog a year and a half ago.  I’ve made progress towards it, for sure, but I’m still about 13 pounds away.  I’d like to not have this be an issue this time next year.

This is my outline of what I’d like 2014 to be.  Now that I have goals, it’s time to start mapping out a plan to get there.