Archive | October 2013

Wednesday Weigh In

October Progress

I’m not surprised to see a slight rise on the scale this week of .2 lbs.  After a few weeks of steady drops and last week’s larger than usual one, I figured this would be a week where my body tries to stabilize itself.  Also probably didn’t hurt that I drank at least two glasses of wine every night over the last week (at least being the operative phrase…) . I had a big event that I was in charge of on Saturday, and the stress leading up to it and resulting relief in a job well done led to a little more drinking than usual.  And there were a few cookies, too.

Other than the few slips this week, I’m still feeling in a much better headspace.   It’s getting easier to make the right choices more consistently.  And my runs are getting back into a good place as well.  I have a race this weekend, and I feel good going into it.  This race is in honor of one of the Sandy Hook teachers, Vicki Soto.  The race is already sold out at 2000 entrants, and I know the race director from working on our local 5K.  It should be a good run from a physical standpoint, but also an emotional run from all that it will mean.  I’m glad that I’m in a good place for it, so that I won’t feel like somehow I let the cause down with a crappy run.

This will be another stressful week, as I am running for our local Board of Education, and the election is next Tuesday.  No matter what happens in the days leading up to it, I want to do a better job at keeping firm grasp of my habits.  Ready to see another loss on the scale next week, so ready.  🙂

Current Week: +0.2 lbs
Total Weight Left To Lose:  11.8 lbs
Age:  42
BMI:  27.7


Egg Pasta with Farmers Market Veggies

It’s been a long time since I wrote up a recipe post, but I thought I’d get this one down before I forget it.


This is a “what I had on hand” recipe so you can throw in whatever you have on hand too.

olive oil
1 medium onion
1 small eggplant, diced
1/4 c white wine
2 or 3 tomatoes (or a lot of grape/cherry tomatoes, but I find the big ones get more “saucey”)
3-4 cloves minced garlic
1 medium or 2 small zucchini
kosher salt to taste
1 tsp italian seasonings
1/2 tsp red pepper flakes
1 tsp black pepper
1/4 c shredded parmesan cheese
egg papparadelle (I used De Cecco in the really big box with the pasta in swirls)
optional:  sliced precooked chicken sausages


1.  Chop and sautee onion in olive oil.  While this is happening, heat up a large pasta pot filled with water.
2.  When the onions are soft, add the diced eggplant and white wine.  This needs to cook for a while until it gets really soft and starts breaking down.  Add some salt to this layer of veggies while they cook, maybe a 1/2 tsp.  If the eggplant soaks up all of the wine, add a bit more.
3.  Once the eggplants and onion start to soften, add the tomatoes and cook until they also seem to “break down” a bit.
4.  Add the zucchini, garlic, more kosher salt, the red pepper flakes and the black pepper to the mix and let simmer.
5.  By now the water should be a rolling boil in the pasta pot.  Salt the water and add the papparadelle.  It should only take a bit to cook, maybe five to seven minutes.
6.  Drain the pasta.  Add it and the parmesan cheese to the veggies, which should now have enough liquid to serve as a sauce and coat the pasta.  Toss together.  If the veggies look like they don’t have a lot of liquid, save some of the pasta water and use that in the mixture.
7.  If you want, add protein here:  I used precooked chicken sausages but you could use grilled cooked chicken or shrimp in here as well.

Even my kids at this, including all of the vegetables, without complaint (well maybe one complaint, but that was it).  🙂  I’d definitely make this again.  I myself served my portion light on the pasta and heavy on the veggies.

Wednesday Weigh In

You know when you want to run from the scale to your computer to shout out your happy news?  OK maybe you don’t, because that does sound a bit crazy.  Or maybe you do, because you’re reading this blog which means maybe you blog about weight loss too, or you’re trying to lose weight at least, so you get it.

The number on the scale this morning was so surprising to me that I stepped on it three times to be sure it wasn’t wrong.

I lost 2.4 lbs last week.  The biggest drop that I’ve had since December of last year.  Which coincidentally was also when I recorded my lowest weight of the past twelve months.  But today’s scale reading is lower than that.  It’s lower than that by 1.8 lbs.

I haven’t seen this number on a scale since 2009.  Since the last time I lost weight successfully, when I lost 35 pounds, hit goal, and promptly over the course of a year and a half gained it all back.

What did I do this week that worked?  Well I am involved in this challenge with my fellow bootcampers, so that’s in the back of my head.  I will have to weigh in there for the next five weeks as well as on my home scale.  There’s something about knowing someone else who is standing in the same room with me knows what I weigh, and whether I had a good or bad week.  It helped motivate me this week, for sure.

I made better food choices.  No question.  The biggest difference between what I did this week and what I’ve done all year is what I know how to do but sometimes fail at doing:  eating lower calorie density foods, dialing back on the carbs, and sticking with homemade, unprocessed or minimally processed foods.  More salads.  More fruit. Lean proteins.  Veggies and hummus for snacks instead of chips with hummus.  Air popped popcorn if I’m starving and need to feel full.

I also was more consistent with exercise.  I had better runs this week, longer runs in addition to my bootcamp.  I am curious to see if I feel stronger at bootcamp today; I did on Friday (the last time I went).  I am hoping that the more solid food choices give me more energy to fuel the intense workouts.

I am happy with this week’s results, and as I know from the last time I successfully lost, one good week can really propel you forward.  I feel good about my headspace and my ability to make the solid choices.  I plan on continuing that this week.

Current Week:  -2.4 lbs
Total Weight Left To Lose:  11.6 lbs
Age:  42
BMI:  27.7  (yay, in the 27s!)

4 Mile Trail Run Race Recap

It’s taken me two days to sit down and write this race recap.  How crazy is that?  Normally I itch to get down that experience as fast as possible after I’m done, preferably while I’m on that runner’s high.  But this time?  Busy life and second run of a race led to complacency.

I started running in September, 2011 doing the Couch to 5K program.  I “graduated” in November of that year and promptly ran my very first 5K.  Which means I’m about to close up on my second year of running races.  This race I ran on Sunday was the third time I’ve run a race for the second time.  The first one was a repeat of my very first race, a Veteran’s Day 5K, and the second one was the Shamrock and Roll race in March.  In each case I improved my time over the previous year, and that Shamrock race I ran seven months ago still stands as my 5K PR.

I had slacked off on running ever since my 4 Miler in Central Park in early September.  I’ve been going to bootcamp and my schedule has gotten tight enough that it isn’t always easy to squeeze in a run on my off days from class.  Just a week before the race, I hadn’t run for ten solid days.  So I decided to go out and run the trail race course as a practice run.

It kicked my ass.  It was hilly and hard, right from the get go.  I struggled from the first mile to catch my breath and ran/walked the whole course as a result.

Worried, I decided to try the course again three days out of the race, adjusting my pacing to accommodate the hills and rocks and roots found in the deeper part of the trail.  I fared better, but still worried that I might not beat last year’s time; I was over two minutes over on that last practice before the race.

But when race day came, it was a different story.  I felt strong and confident.  I decided not to worry about anyone else on the course and run my own race, not anyone else’s.  I did what felt good and comfortable, pushing on the flat parts and easing on the hilly parts.  The first mile still proved to be a challenge, but then I was able to use the second mile, mostly flat, to catch my breath.  The third mile, all hills and roots, I took as carefully as I could.  By the fourth mile I wasn’t winded; I knew where I was going and how to conserve my energy to push towards the end.

I finished feeling fantastic, beating my time from last year by 1:35.

Was I still slower than nearly everyone out there?  Sure.  But I ran my race, and didn’t worry about anyone else but me.  And it felt fantastic.

Wednesday Weigh In: Thanksgiving Challenge

A great feeling stepping on the scale this morning.   Finally busted past the 7/31 weigh in number, dropping another 0.8 lbs this week.  After four weeks of small gains, losing two weeks in a row finally obliterates those gains and stagnation and takes off another pound on top of them.  Next goals?  To blow past my low point of the last year, which occurred on 12/21 LAST YEAR.  I’m 0.6 lbs away from it, so I am hoping that next week will see me posting another happy tune about how I’m finally moving towards my goals again.

Part of the reason why my head is in a better place is the Thanksgiving Challenge.  My bootcamp instructor issued it.  She asked all of us in class if we’d like to be a part of a weight loss challenge going into the holidays, to get us in the right place of mind before heading in.  It’s exactly the boost I needed.  You weigh in each Monday before class, she sends you nutrition tips and meal plans/recipes, and you essentially compete with your fellow classmates.  The person who loses the greatest percentage of weight wins free classes.  It’s exactly what I needed to get my head in the game and move me forward.  Because obviously if I’m trying to push past a weight I recorded last year, my head hasn’t exactly been in the right place.

I felt more like I was being conscious this week with the food choices.  I think I have finally gotten it in my head:  while the exercise is a key component, I’ll never lose weight if I don’t pay closer attention to what goes in my mouth.  I certainly am in much better shape than I have been , possibly in the best physical shape of my life, but I’m still heavier than I want to be.  It all comes down to food.  I needed guidance and tools.  I’m glad I feel like I have something to wrap my brain around now.

Current Week:  -0.8 lbs
Total Weight Left To Lose:  14 lbs
Age:  42
BMI:  28.1


Wednesday Weigh In

Back and forth, back and forth, watch the number go up and down.

Well, at least this week it went down.  I definitely was more aware, more conscious, made a real effort to eat as little processed food as possible and dial back on the calorie density.   It worked.  I dropped 1.4 lbs this week, bringing me back into shouting distance of my 7/31 weigh in.

I have to say though, I still haven’t recovered my headspace.

My bootcamp class did a demo at a local fair this week, and it was time to suck it up and buy a tank top and look like I cared.  I’ve noticed that even larger girls like me look better in form fitting workout clothes from class, so I went and bought two black tops that held it in and showed off the curves.  I thought I looked OK, actually.  We went and did the demo and it was fun.  I felt like finally, finally, I was doing something really great for myself physically.

That is, until I saw the photos.  Ugh.

I looked like a big, black blob.  What was I thinking showing off my body?  I couldn’t help but think that everyone watching thought I had no business being there, wearing such form fitting clothes.  And the push ups?  There was my butt in the air, obscuring the perfect form I saw on every other person in the photo.  I hated every single shot of myself.  Hated.

While I continued to make decent food choices, that negative self talk continued through class on Monday.  When the moves were challenging I could hear the voice in my head telling me I didn’t belong here.  It was too hard.  Maybe I should quit.  I wasn’t getting any better at any of this.  I sunk to my knees doing the pushups and tried to keep my butt down.

Then yesterday, I met with my fellow race director from our 5K and the race director for the trail race coming up in town.  They both are serious, serious runners, and look it.  She was wearing her RAGNAR jacket.  They were talking about these weekend long ultra events where you run relays for a total of hundreds of miles with a team.  I stood there like they were from another planet.  How am I even considering myself a runner?  These people are runners.  I am just plodding along.

I know this will pass….I go through phases like this.  The trick is to keep my head down and keep faking it until I get through it.  At least I know that now.  Before I would have just given in, and given up during a time like this.

Current Week:  -1.4 lbs
Total Weight Left To Lose:  14.8 lbs
Age:  42
BMI:  28.3

Wednesday Weigh In

When you feel like crap about yourself, you make crap choices.  That’s pretty much what happened this week.

I definitely can chalk this week up to not caring enough to do better.  Looking at myself and my journey and saying, screw this.  I’ve worked hard all summer, I have made overall more good choices than bad, and what do I get for it?  I’m not losing weight.  I’m not progressing fitness wise.  I’m not running further or faster.  Bootcamp is still insanely hard.  And so I stopped caring and being careful.

This week amounts to a third week of gains.  This week’s isn’t huge, just 0.2 lbs, but it’s another gain.  It puts me nearly 2 full pounds over my 7/31 weigh in.  And it just feels stupid.  I’m making everything harder.  There’s no one to blame.  When my husband pushes me to eat more bread because “there’s no sense in wasting it”, I don’t have to say yes.  I know this.  But this week?  I did it anyway.

So two days ago, I got sick of my “woe is me” crap mentality and stocked the house with good foods and snacks, made dinners each night from scratch, and cut back on the negative self talk.  It took what could have been a two pound gain to a 0.2 lb gain this week.  I need to get past this feeling of “I can’t” and just do what it takes to feel like I can.  I’m stuck where I always get stuck.  I have to push past it.  I have to stop letting myself be my own worst enemy.  I need to bust out of the vicious circle I’ve let myself become enveloped in.  There’s no one to blame but myself, and while I need to take ownership, I also need to stop beating myself up and get back on the right path.

Goal for the week:  to eat as much unprocessed food as possible.  When I eat real, fresh food, I feel better, my body performs better, and I lose weight.  That’s where I will work this week.  Eating real food.

I need to move forward again.  This sideways shit is getting old.

Current Week:  +0.2 lbs
Total Weight Left To Lose:  16.2 lbs
Age:  42
BMI:  28.5