What a contradiction 2015 was for me. In many ways, it was a huge year for me and my journey through health and fitness. In other ways, it was a year that saw terrible habits reemerge and a loss of so much that I had worked for.
NYC Half Marathon….this was a huge accomplishment for me. Not only was it my second half marathon ever, but hello, NYC! It was a tough race to train for, in the dead of a winter that saw snow and cold so often that I ran 11 miles once on my treadmill. The race is huge and winds through Central Park, Times Square and down to World Trade/Battery Park. I felt on top of the world finishing that race in March.
First Triathlon…I trained for and competed in my first (and second, a few weeks later) sprint triathlon this year. It was an amazing and terrifying thing to do. I learned to love biking and swimming in addition to the running I was doing. I gained new and wonderful friends as a result of the training. It was another thing that I never would have thought I could do just a few years ago, but I did it.
5K PR...I gained a shiny new 5K PR this year at the Bridgeport Harbor Yard 5K in May. Granted it was only one second but hey, it was still a new PR. I was so proud!
My posts have fallen off the last three months because I have totally fallen out of my good habits. I had started to put on a few pounds during triathlon training this summer, eating like food was my job to fuel my body. I never did figure out how to adjust back down after training was over, and the pounds have slowly been creeping on.
Add to that a new job. I started full time substitute teaching this year, which meant the end of my bootcamp classes (they only run during the days and a few rare evenings when I always seemed to have something going on). I had a hard time finding time to get runs in, although I was getting them in here and there until October.
In October our family suffered a major personal crisis. One that was so all consuming and all encompassing that my training completely stopped to manage the schedule and care of it. In addition to the lack of training, I coped with the difficulty by….you guessed it, eating and drinking. Since October I have gained seven pounds, on top of the six I had gained from June to then.
And if that wasn’t bad enough, I fell after donating blood last month and cracked my tailbone. I was flat on my back for several days and could barely walk for two weeks. It is just in the last week that I have been able to walk or attempt any sort of running and even then, I can only run pace for a minute or two at the most.
So I find myself now at the end of what should have been the best year of my fitness journey about thirteen pounds heavier and out of shape. I am angry and disappointed with myself on this day of resolutions. It feels like everything I have done, everything I have accomplished has disappeared into the wind. I just let it slip through my fingers in a matter of just a few short months….four years of hard, hard work.
Today, I will start again. What is that slogan for quitting smoking? Never quit quitting. But I’m in the reverse. Never stop starting. So I am starting again, this morning with my beloved yoga teacher. I will track my food in My Fitness Pal. And I will make steps in the right direction. It’s not like I don’t know how to do this. It’s all in the choosing to do it, or not.
And right now, I’m choosing me. My health, my wellness, my sanity. I choose me in 2016.