Wednesday Weigh In

When you feel like crap about yourself, you make crap choices.  That’s pretty much what happened this week.

I definitely can chalk this week up to not caring enough to do better.  Looking at myself and my journey and saying, screw this.  I’ve worked hard all summer, I have made overall more good choices than bad, and what do I get for it?  I’m not losing weight.  I’m not progressing fitness wise.  I’m not running further or faster.  Bootcamp is still insanely hard.  And so I stopped caring and being careful.

This week amounts to a third week of gains.  This week’s isn’t huge, just 0.2 lbs, but it’s another gain.  It puts me nearly 2 full pounds over my 7/31 weigh in.  And it just feels stupid.  I’m making everything harder.  There’s no one to blame.  When my husband pushes me to eat more bread because “there’s no sense in wasting it”, I don’t have to say yes.  I know this.  But this week?  I did it anyway.

So two days ago, I got sick of my “woe is me” crap mentality and stocked the house with good foods and snacks, made dinners each night from scratch, and cut back on the negative self talk.  It took what could have been a two pound gain to a 0.2 lb gain this week.  I need to get past this feeling of “I can’t” and just do what it takes to feel like I can.  I’m stuck where I always get stuck.  I have to push past it.  I have to stop letting myself be my own worst enemy.  I need to bust out of the vicious circle I’ve let myself become enveloped in.  There’s no one to blame but myself, and while I need to take ownership, I also need to stop beating myself up and get back on the right path.

Goal for the week:  to eat as much unprocessed food as possible.  When I eat real, fresh food, I feel better, my body performs better, and I lose weight.  That’s where I will work this week.  Eating real food.

I need to move forward again.  This sideways shit is getting old.

Current Week:  +0.2 lbs
Total Weight Left To Lose:  16.2 lbs
Age:  42
BMI:  28.5

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About mostlyforward

Somewhere on the journey to a better life, depending on the day...moving (mostly) forward.

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