Wednesday Weigh In/September Progress Report

Well, I can paint this one of two ways:  since my last weigh in post two weeks ago, I’m up 0.2.  That would make me feel a little better about the number I saw on the scale this morning.  0.2 isn’t that much.

Except I didn’t write a weigh in post last week.  If I had, I would have written that I was down 1.2.  Great right?  But if you put that together, that means I’m up 1.4 pounds over last week.  YIKES!  That’s a big jump, and officially puts me at my highest weight in the last 12 months.  WTF is wrong with me?

I can tell it to you straight up in one word:  wine.

I’ve written about it before, but seriously, I have got to get a grip.  I’m drinking two glasses minimum a day at this point and I have to seriously break the habit.  I’m so disappointed in myself.  I have gained nearly eight pounds since my low point in March.  This is how putting on weight  starts.  You get used to a little bit here, and then a little more, and then all of the sudden you’re up twenty pounds.  I was pretty stable most of the year until the summer hit, and then I don’t know what happened.  I am Off The Freaking Rails, people.  It’s not a happy place to be, and I’m not sure where to find the motivation to fix it.

Not only that, but my beloved bootcamp studio closed its doors this week.  The bootcamp studio where I finally learned how to be active and strong, where I finally found the courage to try new things, new exercises, feel capable.  I feel lost right now.  I need to find my way.  I know what to do.  I don’t need a diet plan or a meal plan or a cleanse.  I know what to do.  I just have to, HAVE TO, force myself to make the hard choices instead of giving up a little bit every day.

Which kind of tells you what September looked like.  September was a crap month in terms of progress towards my goals.

Running Goals:

1.  Run at least one race a month.

I did not run a September race.  I ran two races in August, and there just weren’t any great choices.  I will run two races in October, a trail run that I will do “virtually” and then a 5K for a local education foundation.

2.  New Goal:  5K in under 35 minutes.

I am still working my My Asics plan.  I’m in the “Getting Faster” phase, and since I am working towards a 5K race, it means right now all of my runs are 2 miles, which seems weird after having gone for big distance goals earlier this year.  But I do see the sense in it for improving speed.  Right now all of my runs are either interval runs, where I am trying to maintain a very fast (for me) pace for 5-6 min at a stretch, or a “faster than usual” run, which means a steady pace but faster than what I have been doing.  Right now those runs are showing some improvement in speed at the 2 mile distance.  I’m hopeful that with a few weeks left to train before my next race, I will be able to hit this goal and maybe even shave another minute off of it.

Weight/Food Goals

Finally reach my goal weight.

Obviously I’ve already mentioned this.  😦  I am now sixteen and a half pounds off of what I have in my head as my goal weight.  It was in single digits earlier this year.  I’m so frustrated by it.  I feel like I am in this vicious circle.  What is it in my head that I had been tapping into and that I am currently not?  It’s OK to be hungry sometimes.  Cantaloupe can be just as satisfying as popcorn.  And that’s the kicker, is that I really don’t eat a lot of crap.  But clearly I am eating too much.  Because I am so short, I pretty much have to either run a zillion miles a day or I have to eat very few calories.  Because I know at the end of the day, it is always the food that will make or break your weight loss.  My exercise is good, and I continue to blow away each goal I set for myself there.  The weight is all about the food.

I have seriously got to get my head back in the game.

Current Week:+1.4 lbs
Total Weight Left To Lose: 16.6 lbs
Age: 44
BMI: 28.6

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About mostlyforward

Somewhere on the journey to a better life, depending on the day...moving (mostly) forward.

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