I Want It Now!!!!!!!!

So I vowed yesterday to be very mindful and stick to my plan of tracking, eating consciously and carefully.  Here’s how the day went:

Up at 5:30 for a planned walk with a friend at 6.  By 6:10, I realize she’s forgotten.  I consider bailing, but put on my shoes anyway and take my dog.  We get in just over 2 miles before 7am.  I tack on yesterday’s Beachbody Challenge moves while I watch the morning news.

Breakfast:  One egg, one tbsp mixed shredded cheese, the last of my Farmers’ Market arugula and a dash of hot sauce in a whole wheat wrap.  Yum.  Feeling virtuous.  Nailed it!

Morning:  Have offered to volunteer at my church Vacation Bible School.  In the kitchen.  Where there are DONUTS and COOKIES and BAGELS and CHEETOS.  OMG.  OMG!  After the kids are served, and the volunteers are fed, and everything is cleaned up, there are about eight donuts left.  All of the volunteers start sampling.  It is everything i can do NOT to eat a donut.  But I don’t.  I hate myself for not being able to.  😦

Lunch:  Get home, and stare into the fridge.  Decide on using leftover chicken breast sliced up on a bed of spinach with cucumbers and some homemade roasted red peppers.  The sauce that I made for the chicken is the dressing.  Am full and satisfied, so I hate myself a little less.

Afternoon:  Spend the afternoon alternately working in front of my computer, doing laundry and doing summer enrichment with my youngest son.  Stomach starts grumbling around 3pm.  Force myself to wait until after I do the mommy chauffeur thing before I respond to my stomach.

Snack:  No way am I going for my usual mindless bowl of Skinnypop and nuts today.  I had wanted to take the kids for froyo but there’s no time.  I decide on plain Greek yogurt, berries with chopped nuts and a swirl of agave syrup.  Yum.

Dinner:  Daughter has practice from 5-8, husband is working late so it is just my son and I.  After searching valiantly through the fridge, I decide to make mini pizzas on leftover hamburger buns.  They are 220 calories each, so even with all of my sauce, sprinkle of cheese, sauteed spinach with garlic and roasted red peppers I figure mine comes in around 350 calories.  Not too shabby.  My son is thrilled with his pepperoni.

After dinner: After tracking all of my food, I have 275 calories left. I want my wine.  I decide to have two glasses because that’s what is left in the bottle.  I slowly sip it and enjoy it much more than the three glasses I tossed down without even thinking about the day before.  After I’m done, I brush my teeth so I won’t be tempted to have anything else.

And I didn’t.

I felt pretty awesome at the end of the day.  Good, solid food choices, never really felt deprived, it’s all good.  I can do this.  I got this.  I am disciplined.  I am focused.  I should be down at least a pound after eating so clean and healthy, right?

Not so much.  I’m down just .4 over the previous day’s reading.  And still up over Wednesday’s.   Grrr!  After such a great day, I totally thought the water weight that I hoped I was carrying would start flying off and I’d get an immediate payback at the scale.  Yeah, no.

So I’m back for the next day, the next choice.  I’ve already had breakfast, which was 2 eggs with spinach, red peppers and a sprinkle of cheese.  I’m drinking my coffee and after shuffling my daughter to camp I will be off to bootcamp.

One choice at a time.  It’s all I can do.

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About mostlyforward

Somewhere on the journey to a better life, depending on the day...moving (mostly) forward.

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