Wednesday Weigh In
Well, I finally broke the four week gain streak and pulled off a 1.2 lb loss this week. I was definitely more aware this week of my food and drink choices, but I also think last week’s gain was partly a fluke that made no sense. Now to bust back down into the 130s (I am 1.8 lbs off my low point that I hit in March) and get back on track towards my goal of losing these last ten pounds.
It’s funny because honestly, that goal takes me to the top of my healthy BMI range. I follow several health and fitness blogs as well as some “mom” type ones. Recently, one of my mom bloggers that I follow decided to take off her pregnancy weight. But here’s the kicker: she started her weight loss journey at a BMI of 25, which is where I plan on ending up. She recently declared her weight loss journey “complete” now that she has hit a BMI of 19.5.
If I wanted to hit that same BMI, I wouldn’t have to lose 10 pounds. I’d have to lose 40.
Maybe I’m lazier than her, maybe I have a slower metabolism, maybe I just know what I am willling (and not willing) to give up, but I just don’t think that I would ever be happy living at that kind of weight. I suppose that if I was 100 lbs (which is how much I’d have to weigh to hit that BMI) I would be the real expectation of thin: I’d probably be in a size 2 or 4. At my height (five feet exactly), that’s probably what a real thin person looks like.
Except I know myself. My lowest adult weight, ever, I hit when I was 19. I lived for a while maintaining at 110 pounds. I exercised via videotapes every morning in my living room. I didn’t walk, swim, or run. I ate a lot of Lean Cuisines. Sure I was thinner, but I certainly wasn’t healthier. I wore a size 4 or 6 during this time.
My second lowest adult weight was probably held for the longest, which was 125-130. I lived there for most of my twenties. By then I’d found a gym, so I was doing more exercise, but I still wasn’t eating very healthfully. But I certainly was much more conscious and aware, and able to sustain that level without much work. I wore a size 8 mostly during this time.
The rest of my adult life, I’ve fluctuated between 150-163, depending on babies, exercise, food choices. These were definitely my heavy years, from 30 to present. I hit my highest weight in 2007, when I finally went to Weight Watchers. I weighted in for the first visit at my highest, 163. I spent the next year working hard and lost 35 pounds, taking my weight right back to where I’d comfortably lived for years in my twenties. I honestly didn’t feel I could really go much lower. It was a struggle to get down to that point.
So much of a struggle, that I gained every bit of that 35 pounds back, in five pound increments, over the subsequent two years. By 2010 I was back knocking on 160’s door.
Things are different now. First, I exercise more and differently, and I see food often as fuel for that. Obviously I still indulge and overeat or I would weigh less today and wouldn’t struggle every week with weigh ins. But I definitely eat a lot cleaner, make healthier choices more consistently, and am a lot more aware of everything I consume. But secondly, and more importantly, I think I recognize that while the scale is a smart tool for gauging progress, it isn’t the only one. While I do have a goal weight in mind, I haven’t chosen it arbitrarily to hit a magic BMI. I chose a goal weight that I think is realistic, healthy, that will allow me to still enjoy life and achieve my fitness goals.
I think the bottom line is I’m not shooting for skinny. I don’t need to be 100 pounds. I want to be healthy and fuel my body in a smart way to help me be strong an achieve my goals. This is a journey, a process and a learning curve all the time. And I’m OK with that.
Current Week: -1.2 lbs
Total Weight Left To Lose: 10.6 lbs