All Over the Place
So….I feel kind of all over the place right now. This post will have no real point, but I feel like i need to just kind of get all the thoughts out of my head and move on from them.
I hurt my knee running on Thursday, which has been a source of frustration. I did go for a brief walk on Saturday but haven’t wanted to push it. I thought I would go out yesterday, but ended up having the day get away from me. I suppose it is just as well because when I finally got out there this morning, it was not all better. I did feel it twinge a fair amount in the start of the run, so I started doing more of a run/walk, trying to find the gait and terrain where it didn’t bother me. I figured out quickly that the hills seemed to trigger it, so walked on the hills and did a slow jog on the flat parts of my route. In the end, it didn’t feel quite as bad as it did at the start, and I managed to pull off 3.3 miles total. I had wanted to go four, but I figured that I shouldn’t push it.
I don’t know what happened with it. I did a big strength training video the day before, and was sore, but not really in the knees. We were trail running when it happened, and I just gradually noticed it starting to feel funny every so often…maybe once every few minutes. But by the end, it was nearly ever step. I must have just pulled something. I need to rest it because I do have a 5K this weekend….although I am not too worried about this one. It’s a Run With Your Dog 5K. I don’t even know if it will be timed. And it’s basically around a parking lot. So I’m not too worried. If it bothers me, I’ll just start walking. I’m more upset because I wanted to register for another 10K, on Mother’s Day, but I think I’ll give it until after this next race before I do that.
Without much of a goal at this point I feel kind of adrift with everything. The injury is frustrating with the running, and the food is just a train wreck. I’ve been drinking too much, and not tracking. Last week, the not tracking wasn’t bad. This week it feels like defiance. I did input Thursday and Friday and then had such a bad weekend I didn’t bother. I just kind of don’t care. I see the scale creeping up and I’m shrugging my shoulders. It’s stupid, and I know it’s going to make me feel bad later, but right now, I am ambivalent.
Part of it is my mental freak out around Boston and the ensuing events of last week. I was looking for stability and comfort, and when I couldn’t run in solidarity with my community over the weekend, I ate and drank my feelings instead.
Well, at least I know what it is.
So today I got in a run, I’ve iced my knee, and now it’s time to move on.
For now, that’ll have to be enough.