Wednesday Weigh In

So here I am.  The wedding is this weekend and it’s the final weigh in.

Did I spend the last week eating healthy food, tracking both food and exercise, and diligently giving it my all?

No.  I didn’t.

This week was more of the same of last week.  I didn’t track much.  I exercised, even had good runs, but didn’t log them.  I ate cookies and chocolate and drank wine, two nights in a row.  I had a glass of wine, every day.  I didn’t over indulge on Easter, but I didn’t exercise either to offset the day.

I’m pissed off and kind of depressed and mostly frustrated as to why I find myself, three days before what should be one of the happiest days in my life, in a total funk. I’m stressed out, I’m fighting with my husband, and I’m mad at myself for not being more committed to my weight loss.

Which is stupid.  Because over the last 20 weeks I have definitely become healthier.  I might have only lost 6 pounds, but I am immeasurably in better shape.  I can run 6 plus miles, I eat foods I never thought of eating before, I exercise most days and I (until the last week or so) feel mentally stronger and better.  Why am I not thinking of that type of progress instead of focusing on the numbers so much?

Surprisingly, despite my lousy choices this week, I still posted a loss.  Which helps.  It shouldn’t be about the number, but I am so thankful that I didn’t have a third week of gain.

So I need to get over my headspace this week.  I need to get back to a place of gratitude.  I need to know that everything will be OK, good, even wonderful.  They will, right?

Current Week:  -1.2 lbs
Total Weight Left To Lose:  16.2 lbs
Weeks Left to Goal Date:  0
Age:  42
BMI:  28.5


About mostlyforward

Somewhere on the journey to a better life, depending on the day...moving (mostly) forward.

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