28.5

I have this mental thing, and I have realized watching my weight bobble around a certain line week after week, that I think I’ve finally nailed it down.

It’s 28.5.

That’s my current BMI.

OK so we all know BMI, right?  Body mass index.  When I talk to people about my weight, it’s a crapshoot.   My weight sounds sort of OK.  You know, for someone who is maybe, um, 5′ 8″.  And for my heavier friends who are taller, they laugh when I tell them what I weigh too.  “I wish I weighed that little,” they would scoff.

Except I’m overweight, and I’ve been closer to obese than overweight.  The Body Mass Index kind of makes this all very clear and equalizes things in a way that simple weight doesn’t.  A body mass index of 20-24.9 would be considered normal.  25-29.9 is overweight.  30 and beyond is obese.

My highest BMI in the last six years was 31.9.  Firmly in the obese category.  My lowest?  24.8, finally in the normal category.

Right now, I’m 28.5.  It’s in the middle, though still closer to obese than normal (I actually thought it was the midpoint….which proves I can’t do math and I’m overly optimistic).  But it’s a signpost on the way, that I’m headed in the right direction.  It should motivate me that the changes I’m making are working.  But instead, I can see myself sabotaging myself all the time.  Oh, you’ve done well this week, go ahead and eat another french fry.  You ran five miles this morning, it’s OK to have a glass of wine.

I’ve made so many positive changes, and I truly do feel healthier.  I absolutely love that I can run four, five even six miles now.  I am working on my food choices.  But my number one obstacle right now is totally mental.  I have got to get past 28.5.  I have been hovering here for two months now, little blips above and below this line.  It’s the midpoint.  It’s the mental crossroads.  I can stay here, and run and feel good….and eat and drink all the things I want.  Or, I can buckle down, make some better choices, and lose those extra pounds that are holding me back.

I have got to bust through 28.5.

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About mostlyforward

Somewhere on the journey to a better life, depending on the day...moving (mostly) forward.

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