Two Good Days
So after my wah wah wah weigh in on Wednesday I decided, enough. This is bullshit. I’ve been gaining and losing the same 2 lbs for 2 months, and if I’m being honest about it, the same 5 pounds for nine months. I know I want to lose twenty pounds. If I’m serious, I know what to do. If I’m not, I can hang out where I am and have half my clothes fit.
And I just told myself, this is just silly. I do want to lose that weight. I want to lose it more than I want three glasses of wine every night or that extra piece of pizza or those french fries. I loved how I felt when I was 130 lbs. And what’s crazy is that technically isn’t even in the normal weight category; it’s still just in the overweight BMI zone. Still, that’s where I felt good, where I felt like I wasn’t killing myself to stay that weight, where I felt like it all came together.
So that’s it. I’ve been saying it for months now, but something just clicked on Wednesday after that crap moment on the scale. It’s time. This weight isn’t’ going to come off by magic. I have to do something about it.
I set a goal: 20 pounds by April. That’s just under a pound a week. It should be doable if I start just making better choices. I already have so many good ones in place. I exercise. I eat healthy food. I like to cook from scratch.
This is what the last two days looked like:
I have a trail run coming up. I decided I better get used to the trails I will be running on. I ran 4.3 miles yesterday and walked another half mile (up a really, really steep hill) for a total of 4.8 miles. It all looked like this. Nice.
We’re going to have a hard freeze this weekend so I pulled the last of the basil off of my plant last night. I’m thinking some good cooking is going on here today and this weekend.
This morning was chilly and I thought about oatmeal. I always like it, never think of actually making it. Today I made some steel cut oats and put some vanilla yogurt, fruit and cinnamon on top. It was really good and didn’t need any sweetener with the flavored yogurt. Score.
Since I ran yesterday I decided to walk the dog today. I took a different trail that is pet friendly but ends up at the same pretty lake. The steam coming off of the lake was beautiful.
And my dog was grateful.
I had two good days. I am trying really hard to remember that I don’t have to be perfect, I just have to be aware. Yesterday I had lunch with friends. I ordered well, had one glass of wine and thoroughly enjoyed the lunch. The waitress forgot to bring me my fries and I found myself annoyed. But then I realized, it’s probably a good thing she didn’t. I didn’t need the fries and in the end, we got money off of the bill because they never came. That felt a heck of a lot better than eating those fries would have!
That’s what I need to remember. I need to remember how good choices feel, every time I am faced with another choice.
Onto day 3.